Andrew Staton’s TED talk on story. Just cut two big fight scenes from my cartoon.
THE SIMPSONS NEWS
Week two of three revising episode 21′s Act 1 board. I’m so glad I have another week left to finish this board up. The revisions are pretty heavy. I’ve got everything roughed out, it’s just a matter of cleaning everything up for the layout crew to follow.
Meanwhile, in other news, that special project I was working on last week and the week before has gotten approval by some people high up. It’s one step closer to actually being produced. There’s one more step left to get through so it could get green lit. It would be nice if it happens.
After a two week break, I finally got back to working on my film. Here’s what I did:
It was good to get back to it again, but I’m SO tired of working on it. I just want this part of the process to be DONE. I took a look at what I still had to thumbnail, and it was a TON. I had two really big fight scenes to do. Too much, far too much. I’ve been questioning myself from the start if all the fighting is really getting me anything. I’m still not sure but I’m sure as heck cutting some it as of right now.
I took a look at what I had written in my Treatment and simply cut two of the fight scenes right out of the film. They will be replaced by one much smaller fight which will, hopefully, have the same key information in it in much less time.
The info I need to convey will be that the demons that give the Sorcerers their power manifests visually when they tax their power, and that Rob’s hammer, knocks the demon out of Sorcerers. That’s what I need to say. As long as that info is there, the rest of the fight can be intense but short.
IF after I’m done with a rough cut of the film, I discover that it needs a longer fight, I’ll see about incorporating some of the original ideas. Otherwise, I will be happy with doing far less work.
Below is the part of my treatment that is now getting cut, in case you were wondering what it would have been like:
Rob is on his knee exhausted. The Female Sorcerer, though exhausted and bruised, sees this as an opportunity. She takes out her last blade. Sprinkles blood on it and throws it. Rob looks up just as she does it. He moves his hammer in the way to block it. The Sorceress splits her hands apart away from each other and the blade splits into two blades. They go around the hammer and stab Rob sinking into his shoulders. As if they were syringes, the blades suck Rob’s blood glowing red. The Sorceress feels the blades grow powerful with the blood and receives new strength from them. The demon that gives her power, manifest around her visibly.
Rob goes to take out the blades but they pull themselves out. The blades attack again and split into four blades when they do. Rob manages to block some but some get through and stab him taking blood. Those that do, multiply as well. Rob runs toward the Sorceress while hitting blades away. He knows, once she’s knocked out, the blades will stop. As he approaches, she throws Blinding Dust from a small cylinder. The dust hits home and blinds Rob. The blades (which are many now) fly up in the air with a gesture from the sorceress and then, with another gestured, rain down on Rob.
Rob reacts as best he could and spins his hammer as fast as he can. The blades bounce of like an umbrella.
As He does this, the Sorceress uses his temporary distraction to try and stab him in the back.
The Raven sees this and squawks out a warning. Rob quickly turns and strikes at the Sorceress. The hammer hits her square on the chest. The manifestation of the demon inside her gets knocked out of her as if IT, not the Sorceress was hit by the blow. It leaves the Sorceress’ body as the Sorceress cries in pain and passes out. The demon seems to evaporate in a silent scream.
Rob readies himself. He can’t see where his enemy is going to attack from. Suddenly claws flash out of the mist. Rob dodges and blocks the attack. The claws hit a bush behind Rob. It instantly dries up and rots away. The attacks stop. Rob realizes that if the claws hit him, he’s going to die.Seconds later, the attack begins anew, only this time, it seems like the claws are coming from more directions. It’s all Rob can do to stop the attack. Just as suddenly as it began, the attack stops. Rob doesn’t feel so good.The Sorcerer’s voice comes from the mist and needles Rob if he’s feeling okay. Then he informs Rob the mist is rotting his senses and his mind.Looking into the mist, Rob sees the enormous silhouette of the Sorcerer. As if the mist is giving him power. It slips into the mist and he gets attacked by a barrage of claws. It’s all Rob can do not to get touched by them. He manages to just barely survive the attack when it suddenly stops. He can barely stand. He staggers back, hoping to hit a wall. He does. At least with a wall behind him, he knows there won’t be any attacks from behind.The Sorcerer laughs at him and tells him mocking that it won’t help him. He imparts to Rob that not even his Raven can help him out of this.
Rob’s vision is blurring and he’s having trouble thinking. Still, he begins to spin the hammer before him, faster and faster until the mist begins to rustle and move away.
Realizing what’s going on, the Sorcerer decides he needs to finish things off. The Claws come out in all directions at Rob. Rob won’t last without help. He hopes he managed to clear enough mist for his Raven to be able to see him. The Raven flying overhead had been scanning desperately for Rob. He sees the gap he caused and sees the Sorcerer attacking. He swoops down into the mist and attacks The Sorcerer.
Distracted by the bird, the claws stop for a moment. Rob recovers just long enough to hear his bird squawking. He runs in the direction of the sound. The sorcerer realizes he’s coming and attacks but it’s too late. Rob swing the hammer and hits the Sorcerer in the face. The manifestation of the demon that gave the Sorcerer his power reacts as if IT was hit in the face. The demon flies out of the Sorcerer. The Sorcerer screams in pain. The demon evaporates in a silent scream as the Sorcerer falls to the ground. The mist dissipates and goes away. His body suddenly seems to deflate like a balloon and becomes scrawny and weak. The hair covering his face had been knocked out of the way revealing a shriveled ugly face. The other Male Sorcerer sits up, looks at himself, looks at his hands and cries out that he has lost his powers and then begins to sob.
Do you see what I mean about this being a lot of fighting?
Speaking of story and writing, here’s a TED Talks with Pixar writer/director Andrew Staton who also directed the new movie JOHN CARTER, talking about writing by telling us the story of his career in reverse:
For more comic and stories written by me, CLICK HERE.
If you like what you read, please consider signing up to my rss feed.
Comments are appreciated as well.
I also have a store. Click Here and check it out.
If you would like to have a text ad on my site, click on the red BUY LINKS button under the Archives list.
And while you’re at it, please Digg me too.
Writing this blog is almost a part time job for me. Tips are most welcome.